it’s all too hard

January 14th, 2010by Stary

i have a loving caring family and great friends. my job is ok i suppose – i’m in a bit of debt  but nothing that i can’t deal with. i’m renting a little unit – it’s just me and my dog, who i love with all my heart. but i am so alone. so sad and alone. i come home every night and just want to sleep…sleep and never wake up…i want something to be wrong with me. some type of disease, so i can die. i wish i could swap with someone who has a terminal illness and wants to live.

i was in hospital in November and December last year getting ECT. that worked for about 1 month. i went on some more tablets and they made me worse. i don’t know what the fk to do anymore? why can’t i be happy? people don’t understand that you would never choose to feel this way. life is so much better when you can be motivated, joyful & energetic.

to all out there who find living difficult, we must live in hope that one day someone will find the cure for this horrible, debilitating hell.

p.s. the person who wrote that all you need is god can seriously shut the fk up!  IF god is the creator of this hell then he is a fkn bastard.

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