I had originally planned to go the day before my birthday which is in a couple of weeks. However a certain event a week ago made me think that maybe I should wait and see if she would come back. I don’t think I can though, even if she would eventually return there is no way I can hold out the amount of time that it would take. Everyday is to hard, everyday is to painful, everyday I spiral further down into the abyss. So I feel today that I am back on the clock and there seems to be a sense of calm with that. The hurt has subsided with the knowing that the pain will end soon.
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At one point I got this hope that maybe its possible to die of a broken heart. It hurt so badly that I could literally not breathe and felt like I was dying. The agony.. I thought I would never stop feeling the way I do and the only way was out. But if they dont come back to you.. forget them. It works – doesn’t make living less painful but you can get over the ‘broken heart’ part. Don’t put yourself back on the clock. You can turn all of this shit around, I would love to tell you how . You wanna talk? Maybe we can learn something from each other
insanity_forever7@hotmail.com