For the longest time, I felt alone, So alone. My boyfriend and I broke up, and I thought we would hate eachother, we didn’t talk for months. About 6 months ago, we started talking again. He became my best friend, still madly in love with him, things started to go my way. I thought I was flying, I felt amazing. Sex with him? .. No, But the simple holding hands, watching movies until we fall asleep on the couch, just the little things. He made me feel like I had a reason to be alive, like he needed me here, wanted me here, he made me feel like I had a purpose. Tonight, that all got ripped down, He confessed that he didn’t want me, he didn’t need me. Everything he ever said to me was a lie. Now, I feel so hurt, so lost. I finally thought that life was starting to look up, I thought I had a reason to be here. He was the only reason for the smile apon my face, he’s the reason I woke up each morning, Now seeing that all I was told, all the ideas and feelings I got were all just one big lie, I just want to leave and never come back. I want to be far away, I want to be dead. I got stabbed in the back by my best friend, and I got my heart ripped out by the love of my young life. I just want it to be over with now.
6 comments
I know how you feel babe. My ex did the same thing about a month ago, I feel so, empty?
Stay strong – You have to realise that there is love out their in many different forms 🙂
there* Damn my spelling
When I was 15 years old, I fell in love very hard. Not even just because of him, or for me, but because of the love I felt I was being given. I hadn’t had a very particuarly strong family structure, so I put forth ALL of my energy and soul into this one person. It seemed so perfect. We talked about how we would be together when we were old and in our nineties…We experienced SO much of SO many things in life for the first time together…things that will never happen nor ever be again…He was the one and only person I thought I could count on in my life. He ended up breaking up with me right before he had to leave to Iraq for a whole year. I didn’t understand it, and i didn’t want to believe it…I took a taxi over to his place over and over, sat in the snow, in the rain, in the cold, just to try to get him to tell me why all of a sudden after 2 years, he didn’t want me anymore? He had a tattoo of my name across his chest. We had a dog together, almost an apartment together…and I didn’t have anyone or anything else.
The last time I saw him during that time, he “out of the blue” took me to dinner on my birthday. Oct. 11th. He left for Iraq Oct. 28th. My heart had never nor since then, experienced so much pain. On top of that, I found out less than 6 months later, he married another woman ON that same day of my birthday. I was in so much pain, that I ACTUALLY could have sworn that a huge trick was being pulled on me. And everyone was in on it. I thought I was on a tv show and he was going to pop out of the closet in my room and grab me and everything would be ok again. But it wasn’t. My father wasn’t in my life. I was living with my druggie mother and her b/f who she cheated on all the time and treated him like crap…in the middle of a nowhere town in WA.
I live in San Diego now. I moved here by myself when I was 18. I still don’t have any family that cares, nor many friends that i care to have. Since all that pain, I was in a relationship, that also ended in pain, but I am still friends with him, and right now I am in a relationship with the 3rd love of my life. I just wanted to tell you that after all that pain, you will find love again. I didn’t think it was possible. But when I wasn’t looking, there it was. I believe there are loves for different times in our lives, and if it’s meant to be one, then it’s meant to be one, if it’s meant to be four, then it’s meant to be four. My first love was that part of my life~ no I will never have him, or those experiences again…but I have more new ones to come. And there is someone out there that will amaze you in the most beautiful ways. And I’m usually depressed, so I know it’s definitely there, and definitely possible. <3
Why do you people always refer to your own experience and to yourselves when trying to tell a person how she should feel about her own case? Dont you realize that it is completely unfair and out of the point to compare persons, hearts, sensitivities, emotional balances, ability to cope, vulnerability, and a long list of variables that make up a person.
The best advice that we can give to this lovely girl is that that “boy” which I take for a despicable cruel child, was unworthy of the sensitivity and beauty of feelings this girl has. I wish, I wish I had had a girl who would talk like that about how she felt with me.
I wholeheartedly wish this girl can come out of night of pain, because she is destined to a man with a good heart. In our crazy world this is becoming the more and more rare, and most of the people suffer from tragical events to unhappy lives, but there are still some good men around and I wish she finds it.
It’s called relating to the person, Arianna is RELATING to this sweet 15 year old, let her say what she wants! My gosh.
Rachel