I made it through the night, sort of. Been awake since 3am more depressed than ever. I had a doctors appointment this morning about an unrelated issue but wasn’t able to make it through without breaking down, it takes about 2 sec of being around me to know something is seriously wrong and when asked it makes me think about things and I just start crying. My glimmer of hope has made me delay my plans which is good i guess, but it has also made me aware that I will continue to be in pain for longer than I had planned. I am so confused as to what to do, I want to give hope a chance but I am so tired of the depression. I am completely non-functional, I spend most days locked in my house alone curled in a ball crying. I am so confused, I wish I could just make a decision and stick with it….