I thought today would be the day I would start to put things in motion. That today I would begin the countdown for when I would CTB. The plan was set, it was just a matter of gathering what I needed and setting a date and time, but life has gotten in the way. I received the most microscopic slivers of hope today and I am not sure what to do. Do I continue with what I have planned or do I delay and see if this .001% chance of redemption becomes more. I feel I owe it to myself to wait and see, but the pain doesn’t seem to agree. The pain tells me the chance is too small and will become nothing, so why put off the inevitable. I am so confused right now, is such a small glimmer of hope worth the continuous and never ending agony I have been in and will continue to be in. I have the worst timing in the world, no matter what I decide it always seems it is to little to late or maybe too much to soon. If I choose to wait it may just end up being that I make myself suffer for another few weeks or even months for nothing. Then again if I don’t wait I could be ruining the only possibility I have left. Maybe I will just sleep on it and see how I feel tomorrow, or maybe I will get lucky and go in my sleep and the decision will be made for me.
3 comments
As far as I’m concerned, and the experiences I’ve had, even the tiniest glimmer of hope is enough to get you through. Just my opinion, stick it out for a little bit longer, you never know, things might get better. And if you don’t wait and see, and you go ahead with the plans, you’ll never know what could have been. You don’t want to pass up an opportunity for a second chance at happiness. Maybe this little tiny glimmer is the flicker of light you needed to help you see the way back into the world. Maybe it’s a fresh start for you. But you’ll never know if you don’t try…Give things awhile, let the pieces fall where they may..
If you want to talk some more, email me at daddislilgirlx3@yahoo.com. I’d love to talk to you some more, if you’d like that is.
what ever that chance is you should take it as soon as you can i learned the hard way not to wait for things to come to you if you need to talk or help with anything or maybe just a friend please email me with the title of your storie as the subject
it would probley help if i gave you my email address wouldn’t it
beneggs@hotmail.com