This is what i have

indiference

that is the opposite of love….love is having emotions, feelings, whatever you want to call them, for another human being…hate is the same thing….both of them are something extreamly intense, indiference is the total opposite…..you dont feel anything…….

my loved ones have left me, Jake died………Lili moved and now she doesnt care about me….My parents only live to work and work to live…..my brother, big brother,  the only one that would at least TRY to understand me left to college…….my little brother just doesnt care….my friends have moved on…they have found new friends and they dont even smile at me when they see me, who else is left?

i feel that i am living alone, that even though i may be with a bunch of people in school, always surrounded by them i still feel so alone! There isnt a day where i want to go hide in a dark room and cry….i want to let someone know how i feel, but there is just none that really care for me……

all that i have left is my room, where i can be truly my self, where i can cry, i can write, i can draw…….where i can scream away  my nightmares…….where i can try  to make sense about life……..where i can think about death and life…….where i can think about my shitty life…….

where i can take the mask off….

where the monster can get me…..

where the desires come…….

where i can bleed…..

 

Indiference……that is all that is left from the people that have once told me that they will never leave me, from the people that once told me that they will always love me, form the people that have forgotten me….

 

 

This is what i have…..