I am fifty years old. Ten years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It hasn’t come back. My husband started an affair a year after the diagnosis, and legally separated from me three years after that. We have two children, 11 and 14. We split custody. My husband is an excellent father and financially secure, though I am not. To make money I substitute teach, and I’m looking for a job as a full time teacher.
There was a time, before the cancer and the divorce and the financial crisis, when I was a happy, lively, outgoing person. I look at the future, and see little that is promising.
I used to be a Catholic, but I no longer go to church, no longer believe in God or the afterlife or any of that. There is nothing. I’ve made up my mind to hang around for seven more years, until my youngest leaves high school, and then I am probably going to kill myself. I have seven years to find the perfect way of doing that.
Just wanted to put that down in writing, lol.
3 comments
I know what you mean. How suddenly everything can change. I used to be a confident person. And then I got screwed up and I am scared to go outside because I have no confidence. I was planning on killing myself in two weeks. I am Catholic, but God does not seem to be helping. People keep telling me I need to offer up my suffering to God. But that does not really change anything.
Hopefully things will change for you in seven years. Seven years seems like a lot can change in that time. I know it isn’t really that helpful to say these things, but I didn’t want to be a total downer!
May the future bring what it brings.
And may we all find everlasting peace.
no your not your gonna live as long as you can, and the best you can because im here if you need anyone i understand!!! i better hear from you! 🙂
e-mail-mkafan12@yahoo.com
Let me know if you find the best way to do it.