You really don’t have a clue mom

  January 3rd, 2010 by forgotten.angel

Oh how there was so much you never knew about me.. and I lived right across the hall from you.. for 14 years.

Did you know that since 5th grade, I’ve been picked on and bullied just to come home to you and daddy butting heads?

You guys both angry not wanting to talk to me, ignoring me yet again?

Causing tention in the house?

Did you know that you never really showed me you loved me?

I mean sure you fed me and clothed me..

But I didn’t ask you too…

I just wanted love and attention.. from at least my family…

You’re supposed to support me.

Everyone picks my little sister over me..and you wonder why I don’t like being around her

then you accuse ME of being nasty, when you don’t even know the half of it.

None of you.. my whole family ever wants to be around,

Never asking me to do stuff,

or atleast do the curtiousy of telling me what or where you are going to be without me…

not a call;nor a goodbye..much less an I love you…

Did you know that in the seventh grade some one spread nasty rumors that I was an “ugly fat slutty emo that cut my wrists?”

Causing me to actually self injure myself.

Did you know I cut myself, and burned myself?

did you know why?

each scar is a story written on my skin..a reminder…that will always be there?

How come you didn’t question the cuts and burns? How come you assumed it was nothing?? How come?

Did you know that I dated a sixteen year old in a gang? he dumped me..shattering my world…

my only comfort zone.. he didnt want me…

Did you know I Still cry about it to this day?

Did you know I thought about suicide every waking moment?

when I’m laughing, and smiling on the outside inside im dying..

im screaming for your attention.

Did you know not being able to go back to my old school because of your selfish needs.. would ruin my life.

A new school…

new people

i was so shy..so self concious.. so fragile

i made friends.. but they dont really understand me quite like my old ones…

Did you know changing schools again and going to highschool would break me even more?

Did you know that criticing my appearance..and personality AND EVERY LITTLE DAMN thing would finally break me?

Did you know that I commited suicide while you slept soundly?

No you didn’t… because you never asked.

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