fucked up so badly

I can relate myself to you. Having a wonderful girl, but losing her. Living with at home, which sometimes makes me more depressed. I’ve changed so much as well. But you know what helps sometimes as hard as it is, it’s just to accept our condition. We want good to happen so badly that sometimes we just keep asking for it, but not work towards it. I am much better off right now than what I used to be cuz of the little things I do through the day that help me. I am a student in college, so attending classes usually keeps me busy through the day. Aim for your dreams. Go for your grad school program. It’s never too late. It sounds like something that will make you happy. Go for it!! You will meet more people. What also helps is a hobby in the evening. Whether playing a sport, going out for a run, lifting, or anything where you’re on your feet. It has helped me feel better at the end of the day. It makes me tired and helps me fall asleep quickly at night. These meds that our psychiatrists give us isn’t enough for us to be healthy. Don’t even worry about your debt. All us students face that problem. You can also find a part time job to keep yourself busy. It also helps me feel better when I put myself out there and just meet and talk to random people! I like little kids, so sometimes I go volunteer to go read at this school or volunteer at the children’s hospital. I know how “think how it will affect your loved ones” feels. I’ve been there. But it is so true! I survived my suicide through a miracle and I know what my family, especially mom, went through. It’s not worth it. It just adds on to our regrets. When you’re alone, try playing your favorite music and sing, dance, play around!! Go crazy! Right now, I think what you need to realize and do is that you can have fun all by yourself! I don’t know what nationality you are, but you should try making friends from different cultures. You’ll meet great people!! Trust me. All this has helped me so much! Give what i said a shot and let me know how it goes! I’ve been through so much and gained so much courage all by myself and I’m only 19. Email me at i.survived.91@gmail.com telling me how it goes and if you wanna know what happened with me, cuz it sometimes helps knowing how others are overcoming their situation. Take care!