February 28th, 2010 by Jann

Hi im a a 28 year old girl single mum ive a 2year old and love her to bits shes the reason im still alive shes what im living for i know that sounds bad but today i had a row with her dad because i was moody and he was only here to pick her up to bring her of for the day and asked if i wanted to go but i got moody and said no next thing we where having a row he said that i was poision and im vindictive and im a bad person i will end up on my own for the rest of my life and i will take it out on our daughter and he is so right i say some nasty things  and then im siting here all day thinking will i just give in to my horribe self and harm myself but  my daughter needs  me and would never of  got the chance to love me and not judge me i just feel so alone ive always felt this way growing up could never sit with my mum and talk and that realy hurts me cuz all she says is dont be stupid and stop feeling sorry for yourself she has no time for me at all   and my step dad is the same we dident get on for years only now ill talk to him he was very controlling with me  they where very voilent to each other and im the only one who got involved dident like seeing my mum geting hurt but its ruining my relationships and my life im doing a anger manaement course 2 wks now so fare ite good cuz i dont want to raise my child the way i was already im smacking her and shouting at her and thats what makes me feel like a bad person i would love a new soul cuz i feel like i have a bad one i realy need to give my self a good cleaning inside to make myself feel better on the outside but how?
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