And i give up. I can’t watch all of the sorrow i create around me. I have ruined so much. I’ve used up my attempts at having a good life, being a good person. I go through the work week so numb and on the weekends i sit alone, numb, in bed. I drink till i fall asleep. and then do it again. i can’t go on with this garbage. and so i deserve death. no more pain for those around me. no more wasted time and others money. Ill live alone and die alone. goodnight.