I really don’t know if I thinking is correct on this-but I know for a fact that I will try and kill myself in the next couple months. But I have two choices. I went through my mother’s medicine cabinet (she was in a car accident, never really recovered = lots of pills), and I could use those, but when I researched it, they fatality rates of overdose attempt is around 2%. Not the best statistics, if you ask me.
Or, if I wanted to, I could walk/bike/run the 4-ish miles to the railroad tracks and wait for the train and lay down on the tracks. The results of that approach were much more appealing than the pills. There’s a fatality rate of around 90%, which are better.
The problem with the railroad tracks is that I would be terrified of messing up either way. Everything I had built in order to make my parents believe I’m their perfect little girl would be utterly destroyed. If I survived the train, then I would surely be stuck with disabilties, making my life worse. I know I would have a better chance with the train, but I’ve always thought that when I kill myself, I would take a bunch of pills, and blissfully float away. If anybody here has tried to OD, please tell me what it’s like.
I really do need someone to help me through this, and I actually mean it. If I asked someone I knew, then it would be horrifying and give me away. I honestly plan to follow through and kill myself, I have thought it through and it’s the best for everyone. I hate my life, there’s no point, and it’s not like anything is actually going to matter. Would a large cocktail of lisinpropyl and diphenhydramine, along with misc. other pills, work? And how long would it take to work? I really need the answers,Â I can’t find them, and I need them.