Do you believe humanity (or your community) is deserving of life?
Do you believe you deserve life?
Is there anything worth dying for? Why?
Are you dying for it now?
For some of you, your religion, your beliefs, give you hope. It is valid. This is not for you.
I remember loneliness so deep it was physically painful. I remember when I would hear someone talk, especially if they said something nice, the noise was deafened by the silence of its inevitable death. All possible good was nothing but a sick tease.
This is the past.
You crave the void, but you do not need to physically kill yourself yourself to touch it.
Please believe me when i say this. Nothingness saved me. It saved my life, it eventually saved my happiness.
I said to myself
I have no power. There is no power.
“I” never existed. No “one” ever will.
When I die, I will go nowhere at all. Just blackness.
None of this is sad once you’re on the other side of it.
Everything is connected. Separation is an entirely human concept. As a part of the universe, you and I will never end, we will only change form.
Attachment is suffering, and once I let go of who deserves what and so on, I was left with only my will.
What do I want?
I decided. To Love, and to be Loved. Right in the face of all meaninglessness and death, to capitalize on the tiniest fraction of the infinite time and space I have been given as a miracle of life.
The world will never lead you to love. Love will lead you to the world.
You who read this, know that I am not lying, nor am I shallow, when I say
I love you. I love you because I am you, and you are me, and I love myself.
We suffer. For days months years. For a hundred years, a thousand years we may suffer
and then something completely unexpected happens.
A good thing. Its beauty alone dwarfs any need to justify its existence.
And when you see/touch this good thing, maybe its a him/her, trust me
its worth it.
3 comments
sometimes it hard to trust what is hard to believe. Such as a peron like you who knows things beyond the understanding of the world. Or a person like me who comes along wanting to trust, understanding your words, but afraid of the outcome and the price that might have to be paid. We all have the capability of insight, and philosophy, most just arent ready to take the leap into the truth.
This is absolutely breath-taking. What a fantastic way to put it- your entry gave me goosebumps. If it’s alright with you, I volunteer at a troubled youth home, I would love to print this and hang it up. I believe you have just put into words what I have been trying to do for many years now. Thank you. God Bless You.
77evergone77, I understand you aren’t ready to take the “leap” just yet, I wasn’t either, but for me it wasn’t a leap at all, over the years a similar mindset just sort of took me over, I suggest you read some existentialist literature, Camus changed my life forever with both “The Stranger” and “The Myth of Sisyphus”. I wish the best for you, it gets better if you are patient enough.