One of the things about this site, is some get the attention they need, and others don’t.Â Some suicidal people on here might just need a few kind words of a understanding nature. but not everyone gets the kinds words they crave. How do people choose which ones to read, or even to respond to? Luck of the draw? Ones that sound the most urgant?Â Its kind of discouraging when some don’t get a reply. Maybe the people from home won’t understand or help, and even the millons of strangers on here won’t give a second glace at a reply.
All I want is a chance. Another chance at life. But i’m falling again. After so many years of depression. The drugs do not work anymore. And the more you dig your own grave the harder it is to come out. How is anyone to say who lives or dies. Who is anyone to say your life could be worse. The consoling can only go so far until its runs dry. And the paranoia and the dark become a poison. I just want someone to reply and listen. Even if I still do what i’m trying not to do. Just someone who listens and can understand. Im tired of the scars and the excuses.
And even when the people do console on here, sometimes its not enough. No, things won’t get better, you have no idea if it will. Sometimes even when you hit rock bottom you can continue to fall.
Sometimes I wonder.
how long until the urge surpasses the bodies will to live?