Every day i wake up n want to know why im still here, my life is not that amazing others who are dying n have more to offer 2 this world are dying everyday due to medical reasons, I could save lives by giving up mine. I have been a door- mat my whole life n live n a house where no emotions are showed, can u imagine growing up n not being hugged by your parents? I am truely a Bill to my “real” father n my mom never lets me forget that but she never complains when that check comes. As i think of all the reasons to live i can only come 2 one conclusion 2 be my moms under-study when she is at work, recently i tried to escape my parent house by running away n all that got me was a date with a shrink n my mom begging 4 a quick fix by asking for drugs. others n my parents world saw it as me being a spoiled rich brat who wanted attention. idk how i want to die but i know that a life lived without love is not worth living, i cant even get a boyfriend to show me what love is n my short 20 years of life i think everyday what life would be like if i was to just disappear 4m my life n live another but that wont happen….