I’ve recently been discharged from the military, i had a good job that i loved, i got paid a good amount and plus people, (generally) respected my sacrifices for the country and line of work. Until recently, i have been charged with sexual misconduct with a minor. Now before you start judging. The girl was 17, three weeks from her 18th birthday, and she came over to my place and it was all consensual. We had a couple drinks, and fooled around. Now I know what happened was wrong, and what I did (being the adult) was against the law. I’ve never been in trouble before, never even really broke the law before, with the exception of a speeding ticket here or there. And I am now facing some serious punishment, I got discharged from the military, lost the GI bill, all my VA benefits, everything I’ve worked for in the past ten years gone, two tours in Iraq for nothing. I got evicted from my place, had to sell most of my possessions and it’s still not over. Since I’m not working I’m currently looking, and even though I’m not convicted yet, I’m shunned by all employers. No one wants to hire a sex offender. The news has slandered my name, the entire military has as well, and now the only people I have in my life look at me as if I’m diseased. The night in question happened a while ago, it was just once and since then I’ve met someone who I have really fell for, and now that person no longer wants to be with me, (can’t blame her). Considering how much I’ve already lost, and there isn’t a conviction yet, I’m still facing more. The rest of my life is going to be tainted by this one night. I’m going to have to register as a sex offender for the rest of my life, which means I can’t live in certain places, can’t have certain jobs, and can’t even go to the movies, (places where teenagers hang out). Plus I’ll be a felon, which means no more voting in the country that I defended at war (twice). And no more hunting, no longer can have a passport so I can’t even leave the country. My whole life is over, and not over like “oh poor baby go get a job flipping burgers and it’ll be okay†no over like I might as well not even live anymore, I can’t do anything anymore. I had dreams that I can never obtain because of the titles that will be thrusted upon me. and if I end up in prison, I’m going to be “ownedâ€. I’m looking seriously into killing myself, I think the community will be better off, the Military will be, and the entire country will be. Also what kind of life am I looking forward to if I stay alive? Not much of one by my guess. I’ve done some research on the subject and am looking for the fastest easiest most promising way to kill myself. Any suggestions?
8 comments
my suggestion is to just accept this. the world’s cruel to all of us, but few of us understand that, and few among those few will overcome the world.
why were you living before this happened? so that you could go fight a war and nearly die everyday? really, your life has been on the line all this time, and you’re now complaining about having partially lost it. be thankful that you are still alive! what can you do with your life? well now you can’t do much for yourself, but you can do plenty for others i’m sure. i suggest that you let this really teach you a lesson, though i’m sure it has cost you so much that you don’t want one. the lesson it should teach you is that everything you think you have can be taken away from you, so don’t depend on it.
you should find dependence on something that is solid, not something weak as sand like most people. please talk to me, i think i can help you out with this. my contact info is at skull09.net
take care please, and thank you for reading
Jump. But make sure you are really high. I’m not saying that you should kill yourself, but if you must, if there is no other choice, then jump. Also in a book called “By the time you read this I’ll be dead” they mention a lot of ways to kill yourself and pain level and how likely it is to work.
Please don’t kill yourself though.
You’ve hit rock bottom==it probably can’t get any worse. You are a military man. You know how to survive most anything. Humble yourself before God and pray to him on your knees like you never have before. Get through this the best you can and go somewhere else and start over as best you can. Reflect on why you made a wrong a choice. Forgive yourself and then move on the best you can. WE do all make horrible mistakes and a lot of us just don’t get caught.. it sucks but I think maybe the person above is right and you have to reach out and help others now to help yourself. I am sorry you are in so much pain. It’s a horrible society we live in that promotes young people as sex objects.. I am sorry you feel victim to that. It’s actually a double standard on society’s part I think. But you do have to take responsibility and if you feel you were wrong then admit it and please try to give life another chance. Give yourself a time line maybe of a year or so. Maybe you do not have anything to lose? God bless you!
1) I dont believe that you can go to prision for such a ridiculous thing. Girls engage in sex nowadays at the age of 13 or sooner, and by the age of 17 they have more experience than me at 40. You dont have any past history of similar convictions. Look at that twisted ****** racist to blacks, Michael Jackson, he abused children for more than 20 years and even got to pay a father 20 million dollars to buy his silence and he always got away with everything, despite the fact that he was abusing 9 year old boys.He adopted white little children to sexually abuse them every day. So, yes, we know he bribed the whole supreme court, but even without money, there are no grounds to send you to jail for, like I say, a ridiculous thing like that. One of the singers of the Rolling Stones engaged in a lasting sexual relationship with a 13 year old girl fan, but he well smeared with money the family who never said anything against that.
2) It very much sounds to me that the Military are using you as a scape goat to wash their image towards the public. There are video evidences of attrocities committed in Irak where 9 year old girls have been raped by US military, yet they hush it, but a ridiculous affair with a nearly 18 year old girl Made in America is used as a cynnical washface campaign.
3) What it seems they are accusing you is of rape, which was not the case. I have the feeling that you maybe around 45 or even 50 and that is why they are exploiting that. But they will not convict you of rape because that has not happened. They will not convict you because your military background will count and the lack of similar events also.
4) No way about the community or the Military, to hell with them. You dont owe them any explanation. On the contrary, you will be much better off without them.
5) That you can’t even leave the country? who says that? on what grounds? because you were a military? Once the trial is over, of course you can leave the country. At worst you could scape to Canada, it is quite easy to do it by sea NE.
The best thing you can do is leave the country. And start a new life, maybe in a small village in Sicilia, or Menorca Spain.
So what is happening now is pissing you off, but there is nothing irretrievable there, what this means is that in a few months you can be elsewhere making your living away from that and engaging into another relationship.
No way about doing away with yourself, I can understand the idea crossing as I have gone through that before,but in this kind of events it does not apply.
You sound like a person with a lot of integrity. If people are so dumb as to judge you based on your affair with a 17 year old (and i believe we girls can make up our minds about sex much earlier!) they are stupid and limited.
I’m sorry to hear that it’s messed up your life – it’s a shame that our government treats these kinds of things as crimes.
I think you should leave the US while you still have your passport. Perhaps consult a lawyer about obtaining residency in another country. I recommend the global south… People are poorer here but there is less beaurocratic nonsense and people are more genuine and relaxed. You could have a new beginning. You are probably a very courageous and knowlegeable man… So there are many things you can do in a developing country for the local people (volunteer work such as teaching) and for yourself (starting a new life socially and professionally).
It’s America’s loss. You did nothing wrong!
good comment Grushenka!
That one mistake can lead to so many things being stripped from u, but don’t let that stop u from living. It is like u are showing all those people that has taken ur life away from u that they are right and u are gulity. U made a mistake but everyone deserve a second chance. This is just a part of your life that u will have to let go of, start of new and fresh. Move..that is the best start u can do. Come to canada, that’s were I live and I love it here. Its a new begining. Don’t keep dwelling on the past, “the past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift, that is why it is called the present” push forward and keep moving, close that part of your life and enter something new. Keep positive and no matter how hard of a day seems try to smile. It takes a bit of the strain off if u try to find a bit of laughter. U have the power to still live and show everyonr that u made it under the circumstances. You will make it just believe in yourself that u can do it. Good luck to you
Hi,
Regarding the jumping suggestion, I would read this first, it gives quite a good impression of what happens to the poor souls who choose that:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/11/02/MNG9UFH43N1.DTL
Second, I’m shocked at what happened to you. Where I’m from, the minimum age is 15, and I know most people would be equally shocked at how harshly you have been punished. They wouldn’t consider what happened to be a crime, they wouldn’t consider it wrong in any way. I live in a small place called Denmark. I’m telling you this to make it clear to you that there are people out there, nice and loving people, who would never shun you for what you “did”.
Now I can see that you are facing a lot of hardship, but in my opinion you are also facing a lot of injustice. Your whole punishment reeks of revenge rather than justice, and it makes me sick. Therefore, I think you should fight, and I think you should look at your possibilities, at your assets:
For instance, if you can’t legally leave your country, why not do it illegally? This might be tough, but you could start a new life somewhere, a good life.
If you can’t help yourself, help others, start a debate, call a journalist, sell him your story. If the press has already walked all over you, you have little to loose.
About the girl you fell for: I’m sure she is wonderful, but I don’t think she is right to have left you. Maybe she isn’t mature enough to see that you have been wronged, but maybe she will understand it someday. And (this is a tired expression) there ARE plenty more fish in the sea. You have a big chance of someday falling for a new girl, a girl who will see what happened for what it is: consentual sex between two people mature enough to make their own decisions. A girl who will be equally great.
In my opinion, people have NO business judging you badly for what happened, it was between you and the girl, and she didn’t get hurt in the least. I’m really saddened that you live in a society which treats its citizens like that, but you don’t have to keep living there, or to accept for one moment that the system works that way.
There must be many others out there who have suffered similar injustices, and maybe you can be an example to them by fighting claw and tooth.
You sound like a really good person, and I wish you all the best. The reason I am holding back a suicide method suggestion is that I feel I would be participating in murder, rather than suicide.
Some people hate themselves so badly that they choose to go, but you have NO reason to hate yourself. You are the victim of others. Therefore (and because you sound cool) I for one would hate to see you go.
You’re welcome to write me if you wanna talk: muspelhem@hotmail.com
All the best 🙂
-Daniel