help?):

Hello “idontevenknow”. Dear girl. I can sense and feel your pain. In this kind of situations there are different types of individuals, the very emotional and involved and the cooler and less committed. The first ones go through it with harrowing despairing sadness and tears for weeks while the other ones don’t get so affected. I was one of the worst cases of the ones who suffered more. But even me stabilizes it after a while. I am fully sure you will also, if I did.
As per your ex. Naturally the feelings that you have are attached to the past with him, and to the things shared. I believe girls in your age, when they are good natured, and you are one of them because of the way you are feeling, give of themselves to the most.
What shatters me is that this happens among kids who are unable to appreciate the sensitivity of the heart of the other person. That stupid kid with a runny nose that you call your ex is a despicable, cruel, unsensitive street kid. Taking the virginity of a girl and dump her would make me slap his face furiously in the hope that he would learn about human sensitivity.

I perfectly know that you still feel attached to him because the emotional links do not function at the same speed that your understanding and logic do. Curiously they are the first to show and the last to go.

So, now, know that you will still be feeling sad for days, some days more acute sadness some others better. There is however a technique to work on this. One has to oblige herself to do positive things and change environment, hang out with other friends etc and avoid sitting at home building the blues.

As time will go by, you will be able to asses the whole issue with the perspective of time and realise what a despicable kid he is and was.

With that experience, you will work rightly for the future and hopefully will have learned to make better choices next time.

Dont feel bad or guilty with yourself because basically you are a victim of modern times. Stories like this are happening in the west about one time per minute. Modernity encourages kids to get engaged into things that they are not prepared to handle, and either they get pregnant, or have engaged with someone without having the capability of having built trust to a point of full reliability.

Kids are easily impressed and more easily emotionally manipulated. Without a firm frame of values, they become victims every now and then.

So:

You will be perfectly alright. There is nothing irretrievable here. You will choose your next boyfriend more by what you hear and see with your mind than by what your eyes see. If you are interested in the subject, read the book The Art of Loving, by Erich Fromm.

hugs and warm greetings

Alvaro