idk what to put for a title

Alright well to start off I haven’t always been unhappy.  Actually until about a year ago everything in my life was fine.  I had a girlfriend i was madly in love with for 6years, had my health, and everything else was fine.  Then everything turned once i found out my gf had cheated on me with this other kid.  When i confronted her she left me for him like 6 years of our lives together was nothing to her.  then nine days after that i was diagnosed with chrones disease.  Over the last year i’ve been battleing with it trying to get it under control and it seems everything i try nothing works.  I now presently take 20 pills a day of a variety of medicine, some thats main purpose is to destroy my immune system (chrones is when your white blood cells attack your intestines).  I’m always feeling sick, tired, worn out, and constantly depressed.  the medication i’m on now is barely working and my next choices are to have a blood infusion ever couple of weeks to replace the white blood cells that my body’s making that’s attacking me or to have a surgery and basically shit and piss in a bag my whole life.  I used to cut my self ALOT nad have greatly ‘cut’ down on it, while it helps for the now i often become greatly embarrassed of it later when ppl see an arm full of scars.  I’ve tried many times to get my EX back even begged her at times and it only makes things worse for me.  I’ve tried to talk adn meet other grils, but after 6 yrs is hard for me to just stop wanting that special person in my life.  I’ve realized by now im extremely pathetic and if i owned a gun could guarantee i wouldn’t be here any more. To be honest im not exactly sure why im writing this other then to get a lot of this off my chest, i just wish life wasn’t this hard and lonely.