Few days ago, I was searching for a method to end my life. If you are reading this, than I found it. Maybe it sounds silly, but this is true.
I’m just 19 years old. Last year I’ve got my driving licence, than I broke a few cars. I was a horrible person. After the cars got repaired, (forgot to say, that the accident wasn’t my fault. Who were there know that, but other people didn’t really believe what happened, so….) nobody trusted me, so i couldn’t drive anyomre (even my parents told me, that I’m a shame, and I will never get their car again. I felt horrible. I couldn’t find a person, whom I could tell everything I felt, because at the middle of the conversation, when I started to speak about my feelings, everybody started to smile or laugh. So I wanted to end my life. I’ve got a rope prepared to finish everything, but I couldn’t do that. I was afraid of the consequences. What if my attempt fails? What if someone finds me hanging on the rope and saves me? So, I never did it. Then things got even worse. I decided to find a way, that is perfect to finish my life. I did. Before the attempt, I was thinking about where will I find my self after I die? Probably in hell. That’s a bad place, I thought. I started to wonder, what if someone cares about me, about my life? If I do what I wanna do, I will never be able to know him. Few seconds later a mail landed in my mailbox. It came from a friend whom I met in 2005. The mail sad: “God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn its people. He sent him to save them! No one who has faith in God’s Son will be condemned. But everyone who doesn’t have faith in him has already been condemned for not having faith in God’s only Son.” Maybe you need someone to talk to, or somebody who understands you…. M****y.
I started to think. If this verse is true, than I’ve got a wonderful opportunity. After another hour of philosophy, I decided to give this thing a last chance.
What happened after that? Well, I died and born again. Of course not physically, I mean spiritually. God gave me a new life, and whit this new life enough strength to stand the pain every day gives me, and more of that. I’ve got joy! I didn’t feel something like this never before! And I have peace. Having pace, is an amazing thing.
If you want to kill yourself, do it, but first try what I did. Pray to gad, get to the nearest church. You can’t lose anything, can you?