I was raped 30 plus years ago by a boyfriend I trusted. He told me he loved me. He was my first. He then put my head up against a wall and told me if I didn’t have sex with him he would put my head through the wall. I’ll never forget the pain or the humiliation. My choice was taken away. He tried to strangle me. He slapped me. He used me. This pain will never go away. My heart will never mend. Although he’s out of my life, I will never be the same. My marriage to a wonderful man will never be right. I feel I’m putting him and everyone else through hell. I just want the pain to go away. Why won’t this pain end?? When will I stop remembering? He found me on Facebook. Oh God, make it end. I can make it end. I have enough Ativan to make it end. Give me the courage.
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5 comments
Please don’t feel that you are putting worrry on others.It would be better to tell some espeacially your husband.I know it may feel a little werid but if he really loves you he will listen still care and help and after all tht he would still love you.
You can block him on Facebook. I’m surprised the douchebag contacted you.
I agree that you need to tell your husband how you feel. If you killed yourself you are passing on the pain to your husband and your loved ones.
So you need to be strong 🙁
I can’t imagine what it’s like having to go through that. Granted, I did endure something minor forced upon me but it didn’t have this kind of effect on me, so I cannot truly relate.
please talk to your husband.
forgive your past boyfriend. i know that there’s more to forgive him for even now, but please forgive him – it will give you strength. pray for strength & courage to live – not for an easier life.
talk to your husband about this…if you really think he is a wonderful man like you say, then surely he will be eager to be wonderful to you about this.
please talk to me also… i can help you. my contact info is at skull09.net
thank you for reading. take care please
k3t. What is wrong with you? what the fucking hell is wrong with you telling everybody to forgive everybody? The criminal who raped this woman is out and free and chasing her and upsetting her life to the point of having suicidal thoughts, and you tell her to forgive him? what the fucking hell is wrong in your mind.!?
This man needs to be prosecuted. The woman must seek immediate help from her husband and both go to the police to report that criminal.
I was going to write something ridiculously similar to justalvaro, but you seem to have beaten me to it. And just as well, really. I’m not in the right frame of mind to be polite to the various people on this site using other people’s pain for their own gain. (rhyme, lol).
I think I shall go to sleep, instead. Huzzah for anti-psychotics.
All I can leave to the author of this post is that I doubt anyone here, with a religious sway or not, will be able to fully relate to how you feel and so just trust your own instincts. They have kept you alive so far.
If anyone needs me, I shall be in bed.