I’m sick. I’m sick, and I feel like shit. I have warmth; I have a partner; I have a precious little kitten and awareness enough to be concerned about things like grammar.
I have all these things, but I feel like shit. I feel like shit, and I want to die.
Jenna is coming home in a couple hours, and I have to be happy so that she can be, also. You don’t know what Jenna is like. She’s wonderful. She deserves that. She deserves more than I have to give, so the very least I can give is my all.
I’m going to feign happiness now.
3 comments
That is fine. By caring for others, you will forget about yourself and your problems, and that is how it should be.
Aware enough to be concerned about grammer…ironic how we can be so normal on the outside while dying on the inside.
I, too, take pride in how I effective I am at portraying normalcy…and then I resent the fact that I have to oppress so much.
This feeling will pass. Faking it til you make it is okay, even though it seems to be “dishonest.”