Whats happening?

March 23rd, 2010by Whathappened

I’m 16 and feel like I’m falling more and more downhill each day. I’m a three-sport athlete and have starting positions in all of them. I started getting this hopeless feeling towards the end of 8th grade, but they haven’t gotten that bad until the beginning of this year. I’ve been a straight A student all my life and now I’m almost failing every class. A lot of people that I thought I loved turned out to be against me. I never knew that these kinds of people could be so two faced. I had a girlfriend for almost a year and the night after I finally told her I loved her, I found out she slept with her ex boyfriend that past weekend. People lie straight to my face and I can’t stand it anymore. All the sports that I play are now starting to be less and less fun and are becoming a hassle. The only thing I find joy in now is alcohol and parties. All the motivation I used to have is gone and I don’t understand why, but I can’t stand it anymore. All I want is a way out of all of this. I think it would already be done if my grandfather had not killed himself a few years back. After seeing my family after that, I couldn’t bare to do that to them, but I don’t know what else to do. All my feelings of happiness are gone and I can’t see them getting any better, ever. People at school tell me that I look unhappy, but I feel like I can’t talk to any of them about what’s going on. I have no intention on living and I often pray that my life is taken, so I don’t have to take it myself.

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