I’m 16 and feel like I’m falling more and more downhill each day. I’m a three-sport athlete and have starting positions in all of them. I started getting this hopeless feeling towards the end of 8th grade, but they haven’t gotten that bad until the beginning of this year. I’ve been a straight A student all my life and now I’m almost failing every class. A lot of people that I thought I loved turned out to be against me. I never knew that these kinds of people could be so two faced. I had a girlfriend for almost a year and the night after I finally told her I loved her, I found out she slept with her ex boyfriend that past weekend. People lie straight to my face and I can’t stand it anymore. All the sports that I play are now starting to be less and less fun and are becoming a hassle. The only thing I find joy in now is alcohol and parties. All the motivation I used to have is gone and I don’t understand why, but I can’t stand it anymore. All I want is a way out of all of this. I think it would already be done if my grandfather had not killed himself a few years back. After seeing my family after that, I couldn’t bare to do that to them, but I don’t know what else to do. All my feelings of happiness are gone and I can’t see them getting any better, ever. People at school tell me that I look unhappy, but I feel like I can’t talk to any of them about what’s going on. I have no intention on living and I often pray that my life is taken, so I don’t have to take it myself.
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look, im with you. i know EXACTLY how you feel. my boyfriend for a year and a half, took my virginity…then 3 months later decided he didnt want me anymore. i was so depressed and hurt…still am. but im learning i need to move on. its hard. i fall a lot at times. i cut myself and everything..many times. i tried to kill myself..but couldnt do it. i guess i realized, that i do have a purpose somewhere in this dark stupid world. i can help you as best as i can. maybe, we can help each other?
dance.cassie.dance@hotmail.com
More people than I realized do what I do…pray God takes my life so I don’t have to do it myself. I’m so with you!
Please let me share something you might not know…there are resources out there that are likely to help you. (And I’m being honest…”likely”…not guaranteed, but the odds are in your favor.) You are young…that does NOT make your pain less real or less profound…in fact, I think it makes the problem more difficult because you don’t have the autonomy and freedom of an adult! However, because you are young, that makes you more likely to be less aware of what can help.
Pls know that you are showing classic symptoms of depression. I admire your athleticism (I was not athletic in high school, though I tried) and exercise typically helps depression, however, depression can eat away at all those things you used to find rewarding or interesting. That’s depression! And it’s real and you can’t “snap out of it” and you don’t deserve to live quietly in this misery. There are better options. Pls believe me…there are better options!! Options that are likely to help!
PLEASE find a therapist. This could be a guidance counselor at school or a counselor at a community mental health center or someone in private practice…there are ways to minimize cost if money is an issue. Please find a therapist…a good one can help you identify any specific problems that may be contributing to the depression and help you work through them. It sounds like working through grief and disappointment of your gf might be on that list. And, there might be other issues you haven’t yet identified.
In addition to helping you work through problems that contribute to depression, a good therapist can also help you identify and change behavioral and/or environmental factors. These factors can lead to or exacerbate depression.
Finally, a therapist can help you decide about medication. I don’t know much about medication for teens and young adults…I know a lot of antidepressants aren’t designed for your age group, but there might be some very effective medication that would help you. I am on a small dose of an antidepressant and experience no side effects whatsoever and it takes the edge off the depression — it doesn’t make it go away, but it certainly makes it less intense.
PLEASE find a therapist. Please This horrible crap that you are experience – the depression – doesn’t have to continue. It doesn’t! And there’s no use enduring it if you don’t have to. Please…don’t do that to yourself! There are options out there!! If you need more help finding resources, please continue to post here and we’ll try to help.
I’d like to thank both of you for your replies. Knowing that someone out there knows how I’m feeling is comforting. Having someone to talk to makes things betters I guess. I’ve recently learned that a lot of people in my family have suffered from depression other than just my grandfather. I still havnt told anyone about my depression yet, and I still don’t think I ever can. I guess I can thank my grandfather though, because if it wasnt for him, I would probably be dead right now. He showed me how much suicide hurt my family and I will try my hardest to never make them have go through that again. I just can’t make any guarantees as of now.