I’m almost dead, I can’t get out of bed and I can’t sleep. I look in the mirror and the only thing I see is shit. I fucking hate so much myself that you have no idea, I’m ugly, short and nerd, I know that I’ll die alone and virgin. Also, I have fordyce spots in my dick, they just ruined my life and I just can’t get a girl. My self esteem = zero. Happiness is real only when it’s shared and I know that I’ll never get that. I hate everybody, it makes me sick to watch people smiling. I hate my family, my dog died 2 weeks ago and my best friend just kicked me of her life, so now I’m alone. My arms and legs are full of scars and I know I’ll never stop cutting myself. I’ve tried drugs, they help me to relax but I don’t want to become a junkie. I’m sick of this life, I’ve tried suicide like 6 months ago with a gun, but at that time I realized that I didn’t want to die, I just wanted to end my pain. I used to be smart, but now I’m just a stupid, I have no reasons left to live, and I’m just 18…I don’t know what happened to me because I used to be happy and the collest of my class (like 5 years ago…) and now I have no friends. I’ll just wait for death in my bed and won’t eat anything, just listening to my music and hope to go to a much better place than this one. Hell must be funnier.
I just wish I was normal… why me?