April 4th, 2010by notnormal

im not normal… was told…well im sorry.. lifes complicated.. its hard to keep on track and stay perfectly normal…

have u ever experienced that cloud… a dark, fat, taking all the hopes away cloud… u never see it comming..  nobody told me  about its existance…

but once u under it…

what makes it so powerfull… i always believe that people are the strongest , until i saw the killer cloud

he left me, hes said im not normal… i saw it coming… i know i did my mistakes.. he did his…there was a point , where we realised we will never forgive it to each other.. but we kept on going on, yes life has put as appart.. the only connection we had for last 6  month was skype… and my camera doesnt even work… how pathetic is that… i didnt know if that was my love of the life… i loved every men i been with .. and i gave a chance to all of them… in many different ways all this relationships hurts the same…

im sad not that i lost him… i lost my self.. its so hard to build…on an empty soul… is there a balance in life … like if im hurt so much is he feeling as much satisfied? or the good staff was used before and now just pain left… for both of us…i dont understan…. hate school anyway ist over many years ago, but they teach u math , literature, etc. why nobody teach us life,   . what u think its so easy that im gona find it all by my self… well sorry … to late… im officialy ¨not normal¨ i guess a bit to late now…..

do u have trouble remembering your childhood dreams? all those kids: I wanna be a doctor, bla bla bla… i have no idea who i ever wanted to be… seriuosly i have no dreams, i have no hope.. this f.. crises aint helping aither….

life sucks .. i tell u that….i know u all know it…. and dont give me the talk that it doesnt  , we all know it…

so sad that we all born mazohists … people like sufering, thats the olimpics of the life- how much shit each of us can take….

if this will continue – im a gold medalist

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