April 7th, 2010by magentasky

Life for me sucks. And I feel like I can’t even complain because I am surrounded by amazing people, I go to a good school, I’m smart, I have every opportunity in the world if I choose to take it. But I can’t make anything out of my opportunities because so much of the time I am depressed and I just can’t talk to people or do things I like. I get to feeling so frustrated, because I love my friends, but I’m not available a lot of the time…oh, and I get down on myself, I feel like I’m worthless, I’m not getting anywhere–I go to therapy four times a week, which is a lot, and it’s helped me sort some things out, but I feel like I haven’t been making any progress lately and that I’ve just slipped away. I feel that I will never be happy, even though I know that I have been happy before. I think about suicide a lot, and it’s on my mind basically all the time. Like a few minutes ago I was looking up photos of suicides, for some weird reason. I guess I wanted to dissuade myself. The worst thing is I feel so trapped–I’m in my house so much of the time, and it’s like I just can’t summon the will to get out of it. Ughhhhhh. I want to be happy really badly…say something nice to me, will ya? (I’m a junior in high school by the way)

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