For Charlotte

unencumbered of this dreadful pain of living, I shall endure no more… I have lived my life out,lived the marrow dry..I have breathed deep and selfishly,oblivious of the life around myself, I was then cut, so my wounded soul could escape. My life itself lost, never to be lived again.

Sorry for the senseless whining and rambling story earlier, I need to put it altogether. I was having an episode earlier, I’ve been having them on the regular here lately. Just the last few years, I’ve noticed my life really going to hell. It always was, but when mama left me, that was my worst fear, and it cam e true. I’ve been through a lot of things that I don’t even believe myself, it was like I was on the outside looking in. My friend was gonna take my life, and this peace came over me, and I didn’t feel the pain when my face was being crushed, I tried to keep smiling, no crying, that would only provoke him more, and make him prolong the torture. Now he’s gone, life goes on, so if this pain will ever end… will I be afraid to risk it all, or ever fall in love again.