After reading some of these stories i should be happy for the life i have considering others. Just seems hard to though. I have 3 older siblings that are 10-13 years older than me, all three are married beautiful children and spouses. My two sisters are hot shot doctors who graduated top of there class from very well known schools. My brother owns several businesses in the town he lives in, also graduated top of his class. My family is like the hallmark greeting card. My parents expect so much from me, to be like my older siblings, be smart, be wealthy, be a religious freak, marry a young prince charming and all that. I can’t though, I am smart for my age, but i can’t live up to there high standards. If I make straight A’s they want to know why there not all A+’s, if I make anything below an A i get yelled at and grounded. My father has temper issue’s and I think he is back drinking again though he won’t admit it. My mother blames me for causing her beauty to fade at her age, for when she had me she had issues that caused her to gain weight. My sister’s tease me for not having their abnormally good looks. Just after awhile it kinda gets to you. You see I am the odd one of the family. I don’t follow there blonde hair, green eyes path, or there spouses. I have friends that care and I don’t consider myself ugly at all. I’m the brown haired, blued eyed kid that isn’t so big on boy’s, would i say I’m a lesbian? Not sure to be quite honest, if anything more likely bi-sexual. Having religious freaks as parents and my siblings all the same way, I would be disowned entirely from my family. I remember once when my dad was at work and just fired someone, he turned and looked at me saying, “I’m glad I don’t have a ****** queer ass kids, like her, be an awful shame to get disowned for such taking part in sins of the flesh,” and he laughed about it later with his friends at dinner. At that time I knew i was interested in girls. Guess we all have a tough.Â I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal, but I have cut myself in the past and I brought back the habit a couple days ago. Anyway thanks to those who read, just feels good to get it off my chest.