It all seems so useless. I live in constant fear. Everyday is trepidation. There seems to be no way out of my predicament. What control I had, I lost to alcohol. I seem to have lost my free will to alcohol. I lost years ago. Now I may not have another chance. All I think about is my gun and doing it cleanly.
5 comments
Seems like very dangerous situation, when you have a gun in your house. Only thing you should ask yourself is if you really want to do it. If you want to live or die. I know logic is useless here but maybe it can save you if you want to live. I know how hard it is to make right decision. Sometimes there are no right decisions whether you will choose one thing or another.
Do you have any friends that can take you out for some fun and cheering up w/o alcohol?
but have you tried the helps available ? medication ? talks ? I mean, alcohol addiction is not the end of the world. It can be treated.
Thanks for the responses. It is dangerous to have a gun so handy. Live in a rural area where police response is spotty. Looking for new friends. Will definitely try AA.
But I still feel depressed and anxious all the time.
I do appreciate the responses.
I dont know if you have tried medication but I am an expert in the field. Medication can eliminate anxiety straight away. Once the anxiety is gone, you feel better and when you feel better, you are on your way to recovery.
In fact, everybody admires those who recover from alcohol addiction and they are great examples for many people.
Yes, you should not have the gun handy, because there are ups and downs and when it catches you down, you dont want to have any of the sort around. So put it away, or throw the bullets away. Make sure there are no bullets in the chamber of the gun either. Then stick to reading comments from other people, also other people’s stories. Many of them worst than yours. Do contact AA, get the tablets for anxiety but do mention to the dr that you are playing with suicidal thoughts so that, again, you dont have too many tablets handy.
cheers