When I was 11 I tried to kill myself for the first time. It was way to easy for me to get a hold of medicine, a gun, razors and poison to kill myself. When I tried the first time I took 15 pills of advil (500 mgs) and went to sleep. I don’t remember why I wanted to but it felt right at the time. Well I woke up the next morning still alive. I was sooo mad I wanted to scream! But I didn’t. Instead I just shrugged it off.
Now my second time trying to kill myself I was 13. I tried to kill myself because my best friend/the love of my life (yea I was too young but I have never felt the same as I did for my friend for any other guy I dated) died in my arms. This time I tried to hang myself. I remember I had the rope around my neck and then I blacked out. I woke up the next morning in my friends room with bruises on my neck…
I have lost countless number of friends to suicide… and the more and more I lose the closer and closer I come to killing myself. But what I have learned is that there is always someone that will love me and that is my reason for living.
1 comment
Hello
You say it right. Many could love you or fall in love with you. But you need to be here, that is all it takes.
What surprised me to read was that you said that you have lost a lot of friends to suicide, and also that already at 11, without a reason that you could tell, you tried to.
What kind of life or environment do you live in?
Why dont you tell us about you, your life, and where you come from, I dont mean the country, I mean family, etc