I survived it…

April 8th, 2010by Eshie Lena

When I was 11 I tried to kill myself for the first time. It was way to easy for me to get a hold of medicine, a gun, razors and poison to kill myself. When I tried the first time I took 15 pills of advil (500 mgs) and went to sleep. I don’t remember why I wanted to but it felt right at the time. Well I woke up the next morning still alive. I was sooo mad I wanted to scream! But I didn’t. Instead I just shrugged it off.

Now my second time trying to kill myself I was 13. I tried to kill myself because my best friend/the love of my life (yea I was too young but I have never felt the same as I did for my friend for any other guy I dated) died in my arms. This time I tried to hang myself. I remember I had the rope around my neck and then I blacked out. I woke up the next morning in my friends room with bruises on my neck…

I have lost countless number of friends to suicide… and the more and more I lose the closer and closer I come to killing myself. But what I have learned is that there is always someone that will love me and that is my reason for living.

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