i’m tired. i don’t wanna be depressed anymore. if i can’t be happy, i’d rather end everything now. i’m living on 15th floor. it has a balcony. it’s so tempting. i can just jump off the balcony, then eveything will end in a second… right?
i just keep think of my mom. she kinds of knows that i’m depressed again. i don’t wanna let her down, but i still wanna end everything. i have no hope. no reason to live for.
a while ago, after writing a short memo, i went out to the balcony and sat on the edge of the wall, looked down. no one was there. but came back. i might try again, to get familar and then finally jump off.
if i didn’t have mom or dad to think about, i so could have done this already, much easier.
well… i will just go see. to the balcony again. i might be able to actually do it this time. wish me good luck. if i succeed, damn. it was a short life. i’m 22 years old. and my parentÂ will haveÂ to fly all the way from home to here, only to bring my dead body back home. if that happens, i’m truly sorry. but i love you. bye.