my quick life

have you lived in hell all your life and put a smile on it. thats what i do 24/7. i love my family, friends, and enemies. but i just keep going round and round in a circul life. every time i think im goin to stop and enjoy a single moment of life someone or something takes it away if its not my family its my friends if its not them its my enemies and vice versa. and i still put a smile on it i keep asking my self why are you still living and it keeps coming up my mother my mother once she dies im going l i just dont give a f**k anymore. im tired of running into a big brick wall every time i wake up. if i need a job i get scamed if i need some colthes i get scamed im 300 lbs pluse and i just keep smiling. dont get me wrong i keep my self looking good and my weight is not the promblem. i keep looking in the past for something good i pray to god when im in this state of mind but for every 1 good memory there are 5 bad ones waiting for them i really have nothin but my mother once god takes her its over for me.