I made a noose today.. Its hanging from the top of my door. I dont know if tonights the night or not. Just waiting for someone to call me or show they want to talk to me. So these could be my last words ever typed. But who knows, someone might save me for another day. But what about tomorrow or the next. Ive been depressed since ive been 12. When i realized how the world was. I started taking pills alot. i Overdosed the day after my 13th birthday. I went to Ellis Hospital rehabilitation center, but the place just made me more depressed. It just showed that my parents or anyone couldnt help me and didnt want to, so they had to seek professional help. Ive been taking pills on and off for years, and im almost 18 now. I have scholorships lined up for me to go to college, and my moms buying me a car. Its just hard going through life with no one who understands me. I have SOME friends who say they will be there for me, but never are. I just dont know what to do. Should i go on any longer, should i hold on for another day…
5 comments
hello, i understand what you are going through. when we feel like if we have no one. but there will always be someone who cares. i care for you. i want you to hold on to your life not one more day, but for the rest of your life until u pass away by a really old age. i am going through this at the moment as well. but we should both and others realize that life is worth fighting for bc we are important and we will hurt many if we choose to take our lives away. many will end up with the feeling of regret and depression.. we can create a chain of suicide. i am here for you. and others are too. (: please surivive through this with me.
If you haven’t absolutely ruined your life and body yet you shouldn’t kill yourself, things could likely always get better for you. No need to push and pull and struggle with the slipknot; new car, scholarships to college, and no one who understands you … this kind of situation has at least a 50% chance I’d say to change for the better. There are ways to meet people who are similiar to you, many of them online at first. When I went through my phase of meeting people I filtered through a bunch before I found people who were similar to me, some more so than others, eventually I dropped the “others” (for good reason) and kept those who I was more similiar with. It’s just trial and error and a whole filtration process. Personally I don’t think that you should kill yourself, I wouldn’t if I were in that situation.
I care!
I care very much about you, and if I were where you are, I would put my arms around you, give you a big hug, hold your hand and listen to every word you had to say without judgment. It doesn’t matter that you can’t see my face on your monitor, I am sitting here at my desk, it is possible for one stranger to be concerned abÆ¡ut the other.. you know that. Think of a gÆ¡od thing you have done in your life, something that may have meant nothing to you, but touched the heart of someone else. A smile, I bet someone was having a crappy day, and that single little thing gave them hope, and you don’t even know it.
There are thousands and thousands of strangers out here this very second, that would give the world to lơok into your eyes, wipe away the tears, then say..
I care, if I didn’t, would I bother to reply to your post? I will always truly care always, no matter what, you are never alone.
My name is Park, I live in Oklahoma.
Dude why are you depressed? I mean a scholarship, a car. A CAR!!! I don’t get why your depressed and I probably won’t get it cause I don’t know you, I don’t know what experiences you’ve had but I can tell you.
Life can’t get worse so that must mean it can only get better, and never ever give up that’s my motto.
def. go on for more days cause u have someone who understands…me 🙂 so write to me talk to me screw ur friends they obv. aren’t friends if they aren’t there for you thats not a friend…e-mail me mkafan12@yahoo.com