the people who claim that it’s going to get better have no fucking idea what they’re talking about – exactly who are they talking about when they say it works – for some maybe – but they have no idea for whom it does or doesn’t work and they keep trying and probing – but really – they have no idea – so they’re doing it for themselves – THAT’s why they’re doing it – they have no fucking idea that while they keep us hanging on – it gets worse – hope – no hope – hope – no hope – hope – no hope – it’s really FUCKED UP – STOP saying you know what the fuck you’re doing – years of experience and training doesn’t mean a thing when it comes down to the individual – i went for help – but the system is so disparate – the people have no idea what they’re doing – and now i’m this systematized FUCKED UP mess that no one knows how to help because they all think they can help me – but they have no fucking idea
it’s enough so that if i didn’t want to kill myself before – i do now \
ASSHOLES
2 comments
I was just saying this to my mom. You know I think we have a really messed view as a society. I think going for help from people who see what we are going through with blind eyes will never help. I think they see us as a problem that needs fixing and maybe we aren’t a problem at all. Maybe they cant get it or help because it is an impossible problem to fix.. one that doesn’t exist. What if we are the solution. I am starting to feel more ok with how much I want to leave and commit suicide. I think it’s not as insane or crazy or something that needs fixing. I think this world needs fixing and we are just here to show how sensitive people find it almost impossible to live in the normal standards of a good life. I think our perception is different that people who find it easier to live without wanting to die a lot of the time. I have been trying to fix myself out of crazy or suicidal thoughts or depression for years but I am starting to see that I keep going to people for help that inevitably make it worse because they focus on trying to fix the parts of me that want to die but those very same parts of me might make me a really great person. I think I always end up feeling worse because there is nothing as painful as feeling misunderstood and alone. I think that if we honored our desire to leave a little more and looked into why it might be a valid decision considering all our personal and global circumstances, we might be able to breathe through some of the pain a bit more. I have been battling with wanting to die for most of my life and I know that is because I can not shut myself down or tune out like some people can to pain and suffering. it is hard to be here and hard to live a lot of the time and I think everyone on this site is amazing and extra sensitive and has gifts that this world could really use. I don’t for a second disagree with peoples choice to leave. I understand. I just think remembering the flip side of the tragic coin isn’t so bad. The flip side being that we are pretty amazing beings to have made it this far through our pain. Wow that was a lot of words, when I planned for a short “I hear you and get what you are saying.” anyways that’s my little piece. I agree though that it would be nice to get some help in sorting out our problems but I dont think suicidal thoughts are the problem… it’s what get us to that point that is.
“I dont think suicidal thoughts are the problem… it’s what get us to that point that is.”
+1