Ok, at 50+ years old you would think I would be old enough to be wise, yeah…right. Two years ago my partner left me for a younger guy (quote: “She wanted the excitement”). That took me a year and a half to get over; the thoughts of darkness, the nights of fear and loneliness, often thinking how inviting the thought of taking myself into the painless arms of ‘eternal sleep’ was.
I was finally getting on an even track when she came back into my life.
She told me how wrong she had been, how much she still loved and missed me. She said that she wanted us to move away and get back together, get our lives back on track.
We discussed it so many times and finally I gave up my job and we moved two hundred and fifty miles to another town…that was five weeks ago.
Last week I arrived home from work…she was gone, packed and went back to the other guy. No warning, no goodbye, just gone – not even a bloody ‘Dear John’ letter.
I had a text that night to say that she couldn’t say goodbye, she couldn’t bear to see the hurt on the face she loves????
So people, I guess it’s true when they say that you should never play with the fire that has already burned you.
But you know what (awful grammer starting with ‘but’, I know), this has made the decision easier this time. I know for sure that the future is gone now. I can’t stand the hurt, the pain, the endless tears. I’m sick of crying over silly little things that keep reminding me of her. I know that this time it will be easier; it’s not a case of how inviting it could be this time,Â it’s a matter ofÂ how, and when.
Is this a cry for help? No, I don’t think so. I guess I just needed someone to tell it all to anonymously, as if one confides inÂ friends they can be inclined to ‘interfere’ even though their intention is good.
So thank you anonymous reader, whoever you are, for taking the time.