This is me. A low life. I can’t see the point in living anymore. I don’t see the point.
I haven’t for a while now. But there was deffinatly a point in my life were I was like what actually is the point?
I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I couldn’t be bothered anymore. It wasn’t the way it use to be and he annoyed me so much.
I can’t trust anyone. I have no one in my life. I have hardly any friends and I don’t see them that often. But on the 23rd December I got terrible news. My mom has cancer again except this time it’s in her lung. But who is here for me? No one. Not one of my friends know what to do when I bring it up. I’m going to have to see my mom go through this and I really can’t I can’t do it. I’ve done it before but she survived it. This time it’ll be worse though and I physically can’t do it.
I want to scream all the time. Not even cause of my mom. Nothing makes me happy. Only my two baby cousins but I don’t get to see them that often. But I don’t see the point in anything.
I do photography but I haven’t enough money for the camera that I want so I’m stuck with a crap one. And I don’t have friends that will help out with modeling for it.
Everything is failing for me. I can’t go through with this anymore. What am I meant to do.
I want a guy to be there for me and give me hugs and cuddles and kisses but I don’t want a relationship. Why am I like this? I actually can’t stand myself anymore. My ways are so unclear!
What am I meant to do? What now?
1 comment
Ok, exactly as you identified, there are still
a) quite a lot of things that you like to do and bring you pleasure. If you still dont have the camera that you want, (which want do you want by the way?) , there are a lot of things that you can learn about photography if you are really into it. Before buying myself a camera, I bought or rented books about photography and I was more fascinated about understanding the theory than on purchasing the Nikkon D 3.
b) you dont have friends that can model for you?
I am the most unsucessful man with women in the world, but when it was about telling them, “do you want to be in my web for models”? even girls that i picked from the street without knowing them came and called me, so if you want, I can give you some advices on the matter.
c) as per your mom, yes, that is why you need to compensate the hard side with the things that bring you joy. This time, get the best of the fun of your hobbies and interests so that you can cope with the issue of your mom as best as possible.
d) Guy to give you cuddles, but no relationship. I fully understand that. However, you sound a bit harsh when you talk about your boyfriend “I could not be bothered anymore…”.. I dont know.., wasnt he kind enough to you..or wasnt it fun any more? which of the two?
Al