So what now?

  April 8th, 2010 by What_if_

This is me. A low life. I can’t see the point in living anymore. I don’t see the point.

I haven’t for a while now. But there was deffinatly a point in my life were I was like what actually is the point?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I couldn’t be bothered anymore. It wasn’t the way it use to be and he annoyed me so much.

I can’t trust anyone. I have no one in my life. I have hardly any friends and I don’t see them that often. But on the 23rd December I got terrible news. My mom has cancer again except this time it’s in her lung. But who is here for me? No one. Not one of my friends know what to do when I bring it up. I’m going to have to see my mom go through this and I really can’t I can’t do it. I’ve done it before but she survived it. This time it’ll be worse though and I physically can’t do it.

I want to scream all the time. Not even cause of my mom. Nothing makes me happy. Only my two baby cousins but I don’t get to see them that often. But I don’t see the point in anything.

I do photography but I haven’t enough money for the camera that I want so I’m stuck with a crap one. And I don’t have friends that will help out with modeling for it.

Everything is failing for me. I can’t go through with this anymore. What am I meant to do.

I want a guy to be there for me and give me hugs and cuddles and kisses but I don’t want a relationship. Why am I like this? I actually can’t stand myself anymore. My ways are so unclear!

What am I meant to do? What now?

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