The romance of it all…

Related to every word from everyone as if I wrote it all myself, that is odd how suicidal minds think alike. “but I am sure that would be illegal.” especially that sentiment, and what hasn’t become illegal now in this world? There are so many bullshit laws now every single person probably breaks the law 100 times every single day without even realizing it. Like Ayn Rand said, “When there aren’t enough criminals, you simply create them by making everything a crime until virtually everyone is a criminal,” not that I like Rand particularly much, she has some good points, anyways. I also don’t want to participate in what is, beyond any shadow of a doubt, coming in store for humanity. Many might enjoy it but only for a while, the first year might be interesting because it is like an adventure, but after that I think it might just grow tiresome and one becomes very bitter.

Embargo I know the feeling with the compliments and such, somehow I became one of the best pianists alive or something. I’ve been on the cover of the paper, I’ve had endless people tell me it was the best performance they’ve ever heard, etc. it got the point where I hated hearing it. Why wont I make a living out of it people ask, because then I wouldn’t have it in the first place. The way I developed the talent was raw and hidden, one day I came out and played Beethoven for people as well as my own compositions and everyone wondered what in the Hell happened. But to do it for money, according to popular opinion, I am certain that I would lose what I worked so hard for. I didn’t really want to mention the piano thing because now the “crisis control team” will surely use it as a weapon against me. I just wanted to say that I know the feeling and it does wear me down after a while as well.
My exit will be soon, like Z I’m also getting my room ready for checking out, and I recently got a strange letter in the mail from social security, telling me that if I were to die then my kids would get like $550/mo. or something, that I payed into when I was working for the man. Did you ever wonder if you were born into slavery? If we all were but it is really hard to admit to ourselves? This whole construct, the cubicles, the tv shows and celebrities, the false version of history we were given in school, the way the presidents never mention the federal reserve or central banks as if they don’t even exist, the way war has never even stopped and we are always bombarded with propaganda enticing people to support wars that they would otherwise never support, the cubicles where people work for and process paperwork for big brother, the way you work for 20 years and then they let you go without so much as a goodbye, the way women are legally protected and can now do nearly whatever they please and legally get away with it. We have been stripped of our humanity, of who we really are, of our birthrights as people on this planet, if you tried to ride a horse from coast to coast you would probably be arrested and thrown into a psych ward, as the whole country laughs in brainwashed unison: “WHY would you want to ride a HORSE from coast to coast?!?” When I think of suicide I think of it like payday, something I’m looking forward to in a major way, yet the whole situation saddens me that it has come down to this. Time for some coffee.

Dear Lilsteph,

I have read the Bible. From the Old Testament I’ve read Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, JOB, I have slowly meditated on the whole New Testament three times from beginning to end. I have studied different biblical interpretations in addition to that; Edgar Cayce, Meister Eckhart, Saint Augustine, St Teresa of Avila, Dannion Brinkley, Howard Storm, etc. That is not lightweight stuff and it took me years to do. My conclusion is that it’s bullshit, it has it’s points which are great. for. the. person. who. still. has. hope. But not for me, never forget: stupid is is stupid does, and the whole world agrees with you that I’m stupid, even more reason to leave. Thanks!

“Thou Shalt Not Kill” is a common mistranslation of the Bible. What it actually says is “Thou Shalt Not Murder” and you cannot murder yourself, you can only kill yourself. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that one cannot take their own life if need be.

Depending on who you ask, Jesus Himself committed suicide. Before His death He said, “If I wanted to I could summon a flock of angels to protect me from all of this,” thus He willingly let Himself be murdered… in some sense effectively committing suicide. Not that I believe in a literal interpretation of the book anyways, as I prefer the story in its metaphorical meaning instead. One way to look at it is Jesus as yourself, and the 12 disciples as 12 different states of being; Judas being the side of you that betrays yourself, etc. If there was an omnipresent all-powerful God watching over this planet, I have a very hard time believing that It would stand by silently and apparently powerlessly while all of the turmoil has been going on for centuries, and up to this point and beyond. 66 million people were brutally murdered in Russia within less than 50 years… personally I am not willing to accept that any God would let that happen. Maybe It would. I don’t know, that’s why I remain agnostic, the only sensible position.