I dont even know why im alive anymore. everyone has taken everything from me. my 5.0 gpa gone my 17min 5k gone im basically nothing anymore. its not even worth it. i just want to die. i street race hoping to crash into a tree and die. il never hit another car when racing because we race on closed streets and my car is just built to handle well go fast and get destroyed if i crash. every system that protects me has been shut off and my supports and frame have been compromised. but anyway i dont know anymore. people have destroyed me and the only ones who fight for me do it to get out crap for being on my dads good side. hes just well connected and a decorated cop. im done fighting and ill try in school up until the day i finally die. my body is scarred from years of cutting. im a nerd who everyone takes advantage of to get nothing. my friends will not really notice. only my coach will care and thats because im his state scoring mile runner. why am i even posting on here again. i thought i was over this and now i just finished taking out my door and side frames out of my car. the drivers air bag is disabled and the motor is pushing nearly 300 horse power. i just want me to get comfy with a wall at 140mph. id ont even know i just dont want my life.