General Attempted again and failed :( by EmoChick 5/14/2010 written by EmoChick 5/14/2010 Yesterday I took a hand full of adivil to poisen my self. I threw up blood but I’m fine now still living and breathing sadly and I dont know what to do? Any other ways I can kill my self? 10 comments 0 Email Related posts Depressed and Stressed 1/16/2022 Down the rabbit hole 1/16/2022 im the problem…. 1/16/2022 1/16/2022 I dont feel lonely here 1/16/2022 1/16/2022 Stream of consciousness 1/16/2022 the death of kindness 1/15/2022 An Alternative Medication 1/15/2022 “just kill yourself” 1/15/2022 10 comments Una 5/15/2010 - 2:07 am Hi emochick. I’ve tried several times, and it seems like my body has a built-in drive to live, no matter no miserable and tired I am. I don’t have any wisdom or religion; I only have empathy with others who want the end and a little experience with failure and where that can get you. How to do it? I tried carbon monoxide in the car, slicing key blood vessels(couldn’t bring myself to cut deeply enough), and hanging myself. Lately I visualize running and jumping off a local bridge–the fall is at least 100 feet to asphalt. Can’t do it, though. I suspect that until you’re 100% committed to dying, only luck will get you there. The key blood vessels in your neck are protected by thick, strong muscle and other connective tissue, and they slip around if you try to cut into them. Carbon monoxide poisoning, contrary to my former belief, is not painless–my heart pounded, I got sick and my head hurt a lot. Hanging by the neck, even for less than a second, is excruciating. If you fail, you could be sent to a facility that may or may not be more chaotic and unstable than what’s going on in your head. I went to good ones and bad ones–both of the bad ones were intake places run by the counties–they were loud, and one was very bright and cold. At the other bad one, someone took a dump on the floor in a hallway, and no one cleaned it up for like 1/2 an hour. I’m lucky because I have some people helping me to cope with existence more peacefully–not that I like it. I hope you can find peace, whatever you decide to do. I think life sucks, and I’m angry a lot, but I’m learning to do things with my mind–simple stuff I’m getting from my therapist, that seems to decrease emotional pain for me. I’ve read several postings on this site and I can relate to some of the painful thoughts and feelings, especially self-hate. Sorry if I’m just babbling, but I hope any of this helps with the pain. Some people are helping me with my pain, so I’m trying to pass it on. I don’t want to do anyone’s thinking or make anyone’s choices for them, so I hope I haven’t said anything here that can be taken that way. I’d just like to express that I can relate to the pain we’re all trying to stop by trying to die, and I hope that we all reach a more peaceful place in ourselves. If you want me to be more specific about the help I’m getting, please reply. Thanks for reading this. I wish better feelings for you. Log in to Reply OneTime 5/15/2010 - 2:50 am Why do you want to kill yourself babe? Log in to Reply EmoChick 5/15/2010 - 5:03 pm I want to die cause ive been raped, and molested by my grandpa and my brother. I was left with a STD from it and my councler told someone my story cause they asked. My mom abandon me and has 3 other kids whicth is less importanted to her then drugs and gambling. My step mom and dad are raley home now and days theyre ussally working. My grandma died hating me when i told her my grandpa raped me and she said i lied. I was only 8 at the time and she told me she hated me. Ive also was diagnosed with depression this year and the harrassement and school is unbearable anymore……. Log in to Reply OneTime 5/16/2010 - 4:38 pm it definetly sounds like you are going through a hard time and really have NO ONE to lean on and get support from…it sucks being alone through hard times but even though it doesnt seem bareable..you can overcome every bad experience youve encountered and become a stronger person. Its not your fault your grandfather and brother are sick fucking scumbags and im sorry you had to go through that…i really am….do you have any close friends you can talk to? how old are you by the way? sometimes life isnt fair and people are very ignorant to the truth…sometimes people just dont want to believe the truth and thats why they act out in hate or denial..its definitely alot easier said then done but trust me dont give them the satisfaction of you killing yourself ….be better than them…succeed in life and cut them out of your life when you are able to…..your life is worth living and once you stick it out you will see babe….you can always talk to me…for real.. Log in to Reply EmoChick 5/18/2010 - 12:48 am I lost my best friends over the weekent cause they say im over dramatic. i have no one to talk to. Its hard talking to my parents they just dont get the hurt and the sadness im so depressed. I feel like the only thing my faimaly wants me for is sex. Also Im 12 i was raped by my grandpa and bother when i was 8 my grandpas died since then and my brother is now 18 he was 14 when he raped me….. I just am so confused alone and scared. And i have to deal with my friends and i just dont think i can handle it anymore…………. Log in to Reply OneTime 5/19/2010 - 2:33 am wow hunny you are only 12? you are so young to be thinking about ending your life. you have so much to live for. you have me to talk to…your family is apparently some twisted people…you are better than that…dont give up keep fighting please….once you get older you will see that this whole mess will only make you a stronger person…i cant imagine what youve been through,..it makes me sad to think you had to go through something like that…it isnt right and they are so wrong for putting you through that,…im sorry you have to feel alone and scared but trust me when i say that your life will get better and there will come a time where you wont feel that pain anymore…you wont feel alone and you wont feel scared…friends come and go….youll meet hundreds of people throughout highschool and college and only a handful will actually stick….healing is a timely process….it sucks i know…everyone always wants a quick fix…im soooo impatient myself when it comes to this…but wait it out…in time you will be happy sweetie Log in to Reply EmoChick 5/19/2010 - 6:43 pm Im just so confused the conclers always say its my fault for the stuff that has happened in life and sometimes it just seems so worthless………….. Log in to Reply Gina12123 5/21/2010 - 6:50 pm E, Hope you are feeling alittle better now, if you need another friend to talk too, email me at GINAJAURIGUE@HOTMAIL.COM P.S.- I also suffer from depression & suicidal thoughts Gina Log in to Reply EmoChick 5/26/2010 - 10:58 pm k i emailed u Log in to Reply Trying to Win my Failures 7/2/2012 - 3:42 am can some 1 help me out……i know killing myself is a very stupid thing. But when I am very clear I can never. be happy how ever I succed, y should I live..????? is there some 1 to whom I can share…please mail me….my e-mail id is firstname.lastname@example.org………may be some 1 else would need a support as I do need 1. please….. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.