I remember like it was just yesterday. We were both 15 years old, and so in love. Her birthday is only a day after mine. She was and is the most beautiful girl I had ever met. She was the only girl to make me as happy as I was, the happiest Iâ€™ve ever been. Her name is Alisha. We met through friends who we shared, when I met her I had a girlfriend at the time, but we werenâ€™t serious, and didnâ€™t plan on being. Alisha, from the first day I met her was the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most giggly, enchanting, beautiful, amazing, funny, gentle girl I ever met. I felt like I was falling for her faster than was even possible and I quickly broke things off with my current girlfriend. It took Alisha and I about a month to start dating, and it was perfect.
Instantly, we were able to open up to each other and tell each other everything and anything, probably because we had just met each other. She always seemed like a goddess in my eyes, and I wanted to treat her like one, but I never felt good enough for her, because she was so perfect and I never thought anyone could be good enough for someone as amazing as her. Our relationship was easy going; fun, loving, perfect, and it remained that way for four months. On the fourth month she told me she was ready for me. I had never brought up the idea of making love. I was not a virgin myself, as I had been forced to have sex with my first girlfriend who was crazy about me. I was 14 when it happened. Alisha was a virgin. I had been the first guy ever to touch her, and I was the first guy she ever touched back. She told me she wanted badly to give me her virginity and that I didnâ€™t have to unless I wanted to. I told her to give it a few days, see if it was really what she desired and if it was, to bring it up again so we could really talk about it.
After two days, of not talking about it, she brought it up again. She told me she was sure she wanted me. She told me I deserved it, and that I would be the only guy worth her virginity ever. Once I was convinced, I told her I would go through with it, and that I love her more than anything in the entire universe, which was true. On October 4th 2008 Alisha and I made beautiful love to each other. It was the most easy going, non stressful, pure, beautiful, romantic night of my life. I arrived at her house and we sat on her bed talking about our future together. We kissed the whole night and kept telling each other how much we loved each other. It was bliss, there was no negativity in my life at this point, and nothing could ever bring me down when I was with her. She was my everything. And when we decided to actually make love, it was late at night, around 10:00pm, in her room, and it was about half an hour long. She claimed it hurt her after, but she didnâ€™t want to tell me during because she didnâ€™t want me to stop. She had the cutest moans ever, and I loved the way she felt, it was the best feeling I ever felt still to this day. I still remember how her soft lips and tongue on my neck felt, and her gentle hands felt on me. Truly amazing,
After, we remained a happy couple, for months. She even moved in with her step dad who lived a two minute walk from my house. She would stay up until her dad went to sleep and she would walk to my house at night, come in the sliding door that was always left unlocked, and wake me from my sleep, just to kiss me all night. One time we were playing the â€œI love you moreâ€ game, and she said no matter what she would win. She went on to prove it by walking to my house at 5am after a long phone conversation, only to stick a note on my door that poured her heart out to me. It brought me to tears when I read it in the morning. My grandmother actually saw it before me, she showed my aunt, and then gave it to me. They decided for me that she had to be the one for me and they loved her from the start. My mom also loves her, and calls her her â€œsecond daughterâ€. (I have a blood related sister.) many days passed and 99 percent of the time I was with my lover, and we only grew to love each other more and more, and shared plenty of great memories, too many to write. But nothing this good lasts foreverâ€¦
Iâ€™m not the same person anymore, at all. There came a day, when we just didnâ€™t see eye to eye, and we grew apart eventually, well she did from me. We broke up several times, but soon got back together begging for forgiveness. This happened over and over until one day; she told me there was no point in getting back together. She moved on a month later to a guy who is complete opposite of me. They have been dating for over a year now and she isnâ€™t allowed to talk to me according to him. He has hit her, hurt her physically and emotionally, makes her cry, makes her feel worthless, but she is head over heals for him, she loves him probably more than she loved me, but he is the worst kind of asshole there is out there and no good for her and it kills me.
She knows I still love her. Everyone does, and Iâ€™d take her back any day, anytime. But I hate that fucker sheâ€™s with now I fucking hate him. I donâ€™t know why the hell she stays with him, everyone hates him. My mother, my whole family, all of Alishaâ€™s friends, her mom and dad hate him and they love me but she STILL loves him. Itâ€™s been two years since Alisha and I broke up and since Iâ€™ve gotten into some bad drugs. Iâ€™m addicted to weed, and some other things I rather not post on here. I drink to get drunk very often now, and I canâ€™t stay with a girl for more than a month if that. Every time I kiss a girl I think of Alisha. Every time I do anything with a girl, Alisha is in the back of my mind.
I miss her more and more everyday and hope she will soon come back to me. I have no desire to live without her, I have tried to kill myself several times and nothing EVER works. I cry myself to sleep thinking of her and remembering all the times she made me so happy. She is friends with my sister, so Iâ€™ve seen her a couple times. She comes to visit maybe once every two months. Iâ€™ve gotten hugs out of her, and tried to make them last as long as possible. One time, she got drunk at my house when I had friends over. She brought her best friend, and my sister was there too. She got really sick and I took care of her through the night while she threw up. She cried for an hour and told me how embarrassed and sorry she was that she had to put me through that. It didnâ€™t bother me at all. She told me she still loved me. Tears streaming down her face, and I held her until she finished crying. The next day she told me she was sorry for everything and had to go back to not talking to me. I have plans to beat the fuck out of her boyfriend. And one day, get Alisha back.