I Do Not Belong Here

You.
Are a monster.
A cold blooded being.
No heart.
No soul.
Lust.
That’s all you need to complete yourself.
Feelings.
Don’t matter.
Don’t mean shit to you.
Trust in you.
That’s what it was.
God, i just wanted to be helped.
I thrust my heart at you.
You decided it was time.
Time to take serious advantage.
Of my naive, needy, childish feelings.
I handed you my heart.
Gave it right to you.
What did you do?
You didn’t just break it.
You used your fingers to puncture it.
You wrapped your hands around it and pulled.
Once ripped in half.
You took my heart.
And you put it under your feet.
So you could push out every last drop.
Drop of blood.
My soul, my feelings.
Washing down the gutter.
But wait.
You pick it back up.

Hope.
You pull the knife.
You stab it in and splice it apart.
Then, once your deed of this is done.
You turn around.
Give me that greedy look.
Pull me to you.
Put your hand around my waist.
And shove that knife through my back.
You push it until you see my light fade.
You push that knife all the way through me.
Coming out through my front.
My body goes limp.
Not even a twitch.
Cold, broken, soft eyes.
Staring into you.
Seeing nothing but that darkness.
Lust, they call it.
The reason for my falter.
My failure.
My heartache.
My “condition”.
My numbness.
You, my enemy.
Broke me apart.
Ripped me open.
Figured how to destroy every last bit.
And.
You, my enemy.
Succeeded.
Here.
Here I lay.
Dreaming of the ways to leave this place.
This awful.
Awful hell.
Misery.
Pain.
Anguish.
No reason whatsoever to be alive.
No love.
No happiness.
No gratitude.
No service to this.
This world.
Thank you.
Thank you for showing me.
What i am.
What i truly am inside.
A weak, worthless, heartless existence.
You have shown me.
And now i know.
I do not belong here.