I have been struggling with depression for the past the years. It all started when my Grandpa died because he was the closest thing to a father I have ever had. I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore it’s so hard just to wake up in the morning. I haven’t really ever told my family how I feel because we just aren’t as close as most families. I have been like an empty shell for 2 years and I fear I’m about to crack. I always put on a fake smile and act like everything is fine when it really isn’t. I would talk to my friends if only I didn’t push them out of my life so much. I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore and it is becoming unbearable. I hate feeling this way, but it is so second nature that it is the only thing I really feel anymore. Maybe I could just end it all I have tried before maybe I should try again. I just don’t know anymore….