1. there is no way i am getting rid of my guns (i have multiple, two pistols “glock 19 and .22lr”, an Assault Rifle “AK47″, and a sniper rifle”Remington 700”.) Â chances are that i would shoot my self with either the glock (less mess) or the AK47 (my most prized possession, its like a child to me) 2. there is no damn way im getting hospitalized cause i will be totally judged and i would not be able to join the army in 1 year if i decide to live after. 3. i have no medicine, i only told one friend and they dont take me serious and i will probably never tell my mom (only parent).
i just like this website because im not labeled different from everyone else. i could talk freely about blowing my brains 13 yards away from my body and no one judges me as a suicidal maniac. I want to wear a suicide awareness ribbon (yellow ribbon) that says im a survivor (ive tried killing myself once already with aÂ gun to the head but thats another story that i might post at a later date) but i dont want to be looked at crazily for wearing a survivor “tag” and people think im completely unstable with everything. im only unstable with myself. imÂ the only person i hate. but yea, any suggestions anyone on how i could better myself, i enjoy reading your ideas. it keeps me occupied and it keeps me company.
im gonna go but im going to leave on a depressing note because thats all my life has been:Â Â Â Â (I like to always say this to myself, “Your greatest enemy is yourself, so suicide would be an honor to the soldier inside of me. I would take out the worst enemy of all. Myself…”)