So, I am a 16 years old female who lives in California, and I just got released from juvenile hall on March 24. I was sober for 2 months thanks to juvie, home supervision, and the fact I had to pee in a cup. One day, I got super drunk at the beach with a few friends. I have self esteem issues, and it was really affecting me that day. I was in a good mood, but I thought this girl was prettier than me and I started to feel disgusting. My mood changed violently. All of a sudden I was screaming at people because they wouldn’t let me drown myself.
This was my first attempt.
Over the next few days, I sunk into a deep depression. What I thought was my best friend in the world said she, “couldn’t handle my bullshit anymore” and that I am, “out of control”. I hardly remember trying to kill myself, but whatever really happened was not grounds for breaking a friendship. I don’t see what makes her think that when a friend is suicidal, you should be a total ***** to her. That makes sense…
After she said she couldn’t handle me, I felt like I couldn’t handle myself. I was at school, and I walked out, went to the store, stole pain relievers that had a sleeping aid in it and swallowed the whole bottle. I overdosed on 50 extra-strength pills, then waited at a graveyard to die.
Dieing hurts. I kept having muscle spasms and my stomach hurt so bad.
I guess I didn’t look so hot, because, some ***** sees me, comes up to me, and starts praying on me. I’m already out of it at this point and I tell her I need to throw up. She thinks its because I’m emotional because she just “saved” me. That’s bullshit. Nobody can save me. I am way past salvation.
She called my mom on my phone who took me home. I threw up all the pills. Im alive.
I still wish I were dead.
The moral of the story kids, don’t OD. It hurts like hell.