I don’t even have to ask why it feels like bitterness is my best friend. To know the answer, all I have to do is reminisce about the past and the things that I have gone through. My time on Earth has taught me above all things that life is unfair. I feel useless and pathetic admitting such a things, but it’s the truth, as hard as it is to swallow. I have a fuck of a time choking the reality of it down. Most of the time it gets caught in my throat on the way down, not making it to my stomach where it should be digested.
Maybe this is just me taking out my depressing through the use of words. Maybe this is me actually hitting rock bottom with no hope of regaining the happiness that I have lost. Or maybe this is me just being real. Because the only way to see the reality of things is to be stripped of all happy emotions. They are clouds of deceit circling around each of our heads, distorting our perceptions of the world we live in, the lives we live. When we are happy, we can ignore the problems that arise around us. But when we are depressed or scared, it’s easier to see the world for the ugly monster that it is. For most of us feeling lonely and depressed or angry and hateful, we see that ugly monster every time we look into the mirror. I do everyday. I avoid looking into my own eyes because I hate seeing the pain, the fury, the frustration, the fear, the guilt, and the loneliness. What they say is true. Ones eyes really are portals to their souls. I advise you not to look into my eyes long, for you will see my blackened soul. My personal damaged goods.