i cant sleep. i know its the depression and suicidal thougths. it happened the last time. its a warning that im getting really bad. its horrible. i feel like a damn zombie. but at least im not hallucinating. It only happens when im really, really bad and pretty much only lasted two days leading up to my first attempt.Â I know i havent told my story yet and im sorry about that. you have to understand though, the last person (and only person) i told turned their back on me and pretty much laughed in my face about me killing myself. it was my closest friend. the one and only person i trusted alot. and they fucked me over.Â i just dont want that to happen again.