You are not alone

My name is Zoe and i am 20 years old. From the age of 6 i have suffered from manic depression due to certain circumstances in my life, that if you don’t mind i would rather keep private. Due to these circumstances, at the age of 12, i began dappling in crime, drugs, alcohol and began experimenting with my sexuality. I became hooked on hard drugs at the tender age of 15 and at age 16 left my parents house to seek my own life, although i had no money, no qualifications as i did poorly at school and no job or home. I was living on the streets until i found my long lost mother who i had not seen for 11 years. She also suffers from manic depression and also has an alcohol problem, but she gave up her time and her love for me, even after 11 years to help me out of my drug habit, without her i couldn’t have survived. At the age of 19 i fell pregnant with my child of a long term boyfriend, and at first dappled with the idea of a termination, but decided to keep him. Due to pre-eclampsia he had to be born through an emergency c-section 2 months early, and had to be taken into intensive care. He is safe now and back at home, however during this year of my new found mother hood i became depressed, thinking of harming myself like i had done in my early life, but also now with the addition of harming my child. I went to my doctors for help, but for some reason he didn’t take me seriously. Thank fully my son came to no harm under me, and even though the social services got involved (which i hated at first) they have gradually grown on me, and helped me through my life with my child and my illnesses. It turns out my doctor had miss-diagnosed me. he had said i was fine, but i had been suffering with Post-natal depression and Post-natal psychosis. Thanks to not wanting to give up, and thanks to the continued support i had received from my family, friends, social workers, family support workers, and the suicide hotline and Samaritans, i have finally pulled through and my child and i are a happy family together free from any official knocking on our door coming to check if he’s okay.
The point of my story is, you are not alone. You may feel like you are, you may even feel as though no one cares about you and that they don’t understand you but they do! But they are no psychics, they don’t know what’s going on in your head and you must find your voice and speak out before it’s too late. You have to be strong, not just for your sake but for everyone else’s as well. Things do get better -i’m the living proof of it, and no one can take your life and love away from you if you don’t let them