Hi. I’m 22 years oldÂ now, a french-speaking canadian guy too (gotta have defaults).Â Two years ago, I was knee-deep in suicidal tendancies; I lived only to die and I wanted it to happen pretty fast. Nothing really meant anything to me, I had no real ties to this world and felt like I just didn’t belong to this place. I’d hurt myself in a lot of ways to feel alive, to be special and not just another simple drone. I had a lot of reasons to die for and nothing to live for…
WhenÂ I left psychiatric ward in 2006, I had only one idea in mind; I wanted to kill myself ASP. I went home, my mom looked at me with a mix of confusion and pain (what can you say to aÂ son that hates everything you’ve done for him…) and I walked straight pass her, muttering a hasty “hi”… I logged on my computer and typed on google “I want to commit suicide”‘, something I was doing everyday for a long time. I clicked on the first page and I ended up on this. Bam. Black screen, simple writing, red title, a little gothic, appealed to my tastes at the time. So I started to read. Didn’t really care about the words, to be frank, but itÂ felt so good to know that someone, even if he or she didn’t know me, cared for me.
Today, I felt a little down and I googled “I want suicide” without thinking about it and ended up here. I smiled and felt relieved.
Thanks a lot.