build me up

i could sit here and say how i fake being happy to impress people, but i gave up on that. my old friends say they’re “sick” of me being depressed. well guess what so called friends…im sick of it too bitches. i dont wanna feel like this, i dont wanna feel at all. just shoot me please. the day i get a hold of a gun i promise thats what im gunna do. i have thought of becoming a police officer and lying to everyone just so i can get my hands on one. wish me luck