well. here it is. im gunning (pun intended) for july 4. but it might be too close to the birthday of my friend/the girl i love. if not i will probably go for a later date in july. well. im sorry to all who tried to help me. in the end i knew i would fail you all. just like i always have. ill try to keep posting something up to my final moments. im sorry everyone.. but i have decided permently to commit suicide by firearm very soon. but now ill at least be finally happy…
5 comments
….. wow, where to begin…. first time onthis site, but as a nurse, a mum, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a best friend… its hard for me to understand how things could be tht final for you…. i am not the best mum, i am not the best friend, i am not the best daughter.. but i DO my best… does life not intrigue you? what if you moved to another country? what if you changed job?? WHAT IF???… wood be happy to talk, and help if i could…
Hey I don’t know who you are but Im here..don’t push me away but give me a try send me your info and lets get in touch. Im here for you and your not failing no one.
Send him your info, send me your gun. I have big plans.
I’m here if you want to talk. I’m
goin to cAmp of the 4th and I’ll be thinking of you when the fireworks go off.
think over what your planning and be sure it’s what you want to do.
Imsorrymom..
Please find my posts and read them…many of them, before you do this..No one can stop you from what you plan on doing…if this is truly your decision. So make arrangements to do it right. Write down and write letters to everyone that will be affected by your death and make sure they know it is YOUR decision and emphasize NOT their fault or anything they could have done or said. If that is NOT true..then change it while you are alive. Own you impending death. They will look for the whys for the rest of their lives. Make sure you do not do this in your parent’s home…go outside. They will not be able to sleep there, in the home for sometime afterwards and hazmat will have to come in and clean and strip out anyplace that your blood or brains splattered. So, a head shot, I presume?
Go outside and wrap a towel or a scarf around your head tightly to keep the spatter down and your head together in one piece. Make sure you know that you will most likely live for some hours afterward, as the lower brain will keep your heart beating and your lungs breathing. It is really hard to position the gun to hit your lower brain and that is not a guarantee as the bullet has a lot of tissue to go through to get there, it can easily be veered off in another direction and exit somewhere else. Put on a pair of disposable underwear as you will have a bowel movement when you do finally die..nasty in a clean up. Make sure your pets do not see this and do not have access to your body, as they will most likely have to be destroyed afterwards….it really messes them up. Think of the person or persons that will find you and either place a note telling them to call for help and make sure they cannot see you…though I guarantee they will go and find your body..whatever image they see, will be in their minds forever and they will end up with PTSD..the image will be vivid forever and will flashback on them. If you care at all for that person..make sure they are not the one to find you. Most people that want to suicide do not think beyond the instant of death or the legacy they leave of eternal pain and guilt, regrets and questions for the people who love them…More love you than you know..my son’s recent memorial had about 750 people there and more would have come..many more. He was loved. That was not his problem. I am sure had he thought beyond the suicide..he would have never wanted to cause so many the pain….and I know he would never intentionally hurt me, he loved me so much and I him….His Momma!