I wish I was gone, but in reality, I cant be gone. I am a father with a wife and two kids. We spend more a month than we make. I am so down, I cant do anything. I am stuck, lifeless. I accidentally, got this love sickness for another woman. Well, I was in the wrong place and fell down a slippery slope. I did not expect this to happen. I thought I could control it. I did not expect love madness to set in. (A romantic would call it madly in love) She used me for three years, and then disappeared. I am lonely and have no warmth or intimacy in my life. I messed up again. I feel worthless to everyone. I hurt everyone including myself. I don’t want to hurt anybody anymore.
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Whatever you may think you have done, you must know that your guilt cannot allow you to end your life. Things are hopeless, hell, I know. But, your own feelings of self-worth are more than you know now. You will see things change once you tackle two things, I promise. :Your guilt and your self-esteem. You are worth so much more than you ever know while alive; when you’re gone, you cannot know..J.
Thanks man. I am seeing a psychologist and am on medication, so I am doing the right things. This love sickness is very powerful. You’re right, I have to tackle my self esteem and guilt issues. Thanks a lot. Last night I was all alone on fathers day, so I drank beer and took 9 of my pills for depression, I usually take one. That was stupid.